Well into the third trimester....

At 15 weeks, I wrote the 15 things that were in my brain about pregnancy...
I seem to have let the last 17 weeks fly by without writing down any thoughts... Here goes nothing... and I mean nothing as my pregnacy brain has been really affecting me lately!!

16. I have heard every form of "WOAH YOUR BELLY IS HUGE!!" to "Uh... You need to get bigger if you are going to have the baby in March." Make up your mind people.... By the way, the Dr. says I am doing just fine Thank You Very Much!
17. The pants that fit me this time last week don't fit me seven days later.... Also known as, these pants feel great! Fast forward to a week later. These pants are too tight around my large belly!!
18. I don't mind people (that ask) touching my belly.... I do mind people rubbing when they touch my belly... it is a little unsettling... I don't rub someone if I put my hand on their arm as we talk.... so why do people rub on my belly.... Sadly I don't think that my belly will bring them luck like rubbing budda's belly....
19.  When I said 18 outloud to my Pastor... She quit even asking to touch my belly.... I feel bad! She was by far the person that bothered me the least about this!! So my 19 is just to say... the people that actually care about you listen to you and those that don't .... well you will begin to know that they really don't care about you because they don't listen!!
20. Learning that you are having a certain sex of child doesn't always make it easier to plan the room, register for gear, or pick a name!
21. When the Sono Tech told us we were having a girl both CB and I said "hm." sort of an "hmm... interesting.... We both thought that we were having a boy!
22. Girl bedding is very PINK.... neutral bedding is very bland....
23. The urge to nest doesn't kick in soon enough. Seriously...
24. There are a lot of personal growth that happens in a pregnancy. Atleast there has been for myself and for CB. We have both begun to more easily get rid of crap that we don't need. You know all of the junk that we have held on to for a long time for no reason!!
25. Being pregnant over the holidays is GREAT!!! I have loved that I am a bottomless pit for such wonderful meals like turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravey and of course PIE!
26. Sleep deprivation is terrible... Reasons I am sleep deprived: Heart burn, need to pee, can't get comfortable, need to pee, baby girl is kicking me so hard that I am awake, need to pee, too hot, need to pee, too cold, need to pee, suddenly hungry, and last but definately not least... I need to pee.
27. When calling to set up the insurance on your unborn child or get a pediatrition set up for your unborn child people ask a lot of questions that are funny.... Example conversation. Me: "Hello, my name is KB. I am calling to inquire about getting my soon to be born child approved to be a patient with Dr. V." Dr.s Office: "Tell me your child's name, date of birth and current dr." Me: "Well, we are going with HLB, she is due on 3/2/12 and we were hoping that Dr. V. would be her Dr." Dr.s Office: "Wait, so your child hasn't been born?" Me: "No." Dr.s Office: "What did you want then?" Me: "I am told, this is my first baby so I don't really know, but I have been told that I am supposed to pick a pediatrition and get approved and then when the baby comes we have a pediatrition. Is that the right way?" Drs. Office: "Oh you want to get approved to be a new patient?" Me: "Yes." Dr.s Office: "What is your childs name, date of birth and current dr.?" Me: "umm...." Dr.s Office: "wait you said you were pregnant....." Me: "yes." WOWZERS.... By the way, this was the most highly recommended dr's office!!!
28. People should know better than to plan things for pregnant women without asking if that is the way they would like to spend three hours on a Saturday....
29. Belly support bands are amazing! Before the support band I thought that she was  going to fall out onto the floor when I walked... now it feels like she is supported as she falls out onto the floor as I walk.... ;)
30. My tolerance for bs is very low right now....my tolerance for laziness, high pitched voices, crabby people, and annoyances that most people can over look is also very low... My students HATE this....
31. My mom thought that Dr. S's office was being very invasive  because I had to have more sonograms than she did (you know 29 years ago!) or than my sister did a few years ago. She doesn't know what invasive is until you have to have an internal sonogram.... I have a low lying placenta and that makes them want to complete lots of sonos to make sure it is moving out of the way.... now that Baby Girl's head is down and getting big.... they have to use an internal sono to observe the placenta....
32. Only a pregnant woman would answer the question 'How are you doing?' with "Great, except _______________! (fill in with any of neumerous complaints that pregnant women have....)"
33. Who tells a big 'ole pregnant woman that "You look awfully tired today."?? Do you know what she hears? "You look AWFUL today."
34. CB's Mom and I had a conversation about a year before her passing about how CB never stopped moving, talking, or making noise as a child.... in this conversation I told her (CB and I were not married or engaged at the time) that my mom used to say the same thing about me and that if CB and I got married and had kiddos.... were were totally screwed because our kids would be the a terrible combination of both of us... I think that I jinxed us. Baby girl hardly ever stops moving, which I love because I rarely have to worry about why she isn't moving. On top of moving constantly.... she is forceful! So forceful that I had a dream the other night that you could see the features of  her entire face pressed against my stomach like a horror movie she was trying to come out the side of my abdomen!!!

We shall see what the next few weeks holds... I may get to do a 40 week 'OMG you are evicted post!' Who knows!?!

There I said it....

Well I guess I can say it on here, since the one person that even reads this already knows and the rest of the world will know by Tuesday....
I am pregnant.
In the last 15 weeks of pregnancy some very funny or interesting moments have happened along with some "really?" moments where I learned something totally new and here is my list of them...

1. To start off, I am fifteen weeks pregnant but the little friend in my belly has actually only been there thirteen weeks.  Yes, pregnancy counts the two weeks before the little peanut is even made as part of the pregnancy. Weird? Yes, I agree.
2. The two of them.... those things that eventually will be a main food source for the baby... yea they get big quick! Already gained a whole bra cup... What the heck is going to happen in the next 15 weeks or the 10 after that?
3. There is a monopoly on preggo clothes. I think it is crappy that there are very limited clothing choices when it comes to maternity clothes. I am just beginning to show and so a little more space in my clothes is already something that makes my day go a little smoother. However, NO I don't want big horizontal stripes, NO I don't want a big bow that sits on my belly, and NO I don't want to only wear baby blue and pastel pink.
4. This piggy backs on the preggo clothes monopoly.... When I do find clothes that would be cute and would fit, they are always full price and never on sale and the only time they go on sale, is when there is only size XL or XS or in the color that I don't like or would look awful on me...
5. Speaking of looking awful. Hormones can do interesting things... the thing that hormones have done to me the most? Weepy? Angry? Giggly? Oh, no.... ZIT FACE! Break out central... and nothing fixes it!
6. Ok, complaint mode off... Here is a funny one: When you are pregnant and start telling people instead of a simple 'Congrats' or 'You will love being a parent' or even 'You will be a great mom' you hear: 'When I was pregnant..... (gross, gross, gross)... (blah, blah, blah)......' I have heard about people having irish twins, nights of no sleep, miscariages, getting pregnant "just because my husband looked at me".... People are hilarious when you say that you are pregnant. They will tell you damn near anything about themselves, most of it you wouldn't even want to know about yourself!
7. The first trimester brings you new things, prenatal vitamins, uncontrolable tiredness and waking up in the middle of the night to pee.... And when you do get up to go to the bathroom... good luck falling back to sleep...
8. Oh speaking of prenatal vitamins. I had a really bad day one day. I learned from my very smart sister that I needed to eat some protien when taking this heavily iron loaded pill.  That was the last bad day I  had (well that was vitamin related).
9. A little math riddle... 1 day of forgotten prenatal -accident, 2 days of forgotten prenatal - coincidence, 3 days of forgotten prenatal - oh crap a bad habit has formed!
10. Sonograms are fun! One day you get one and you see this little peanut, you go back a month or two later and you suddenly have a bouncing baby waving, dancing, fist pumping it is a baby after his or her daddy!
11. When you tell people that you are pregnant you hear things like "I thought you were getting poochy", "So-n-so, so-n-so, and so-n-so and I have been talking about you all week. We just knew that you were pregnant", and "I just knew it! Your boobs are sooooo big!!!"
12. I finally convinced myself and my husband of the following: It doesn't matter who knows at this point....A. We are happily married. B. We are adults. C. It is my husband's baby. (no Montel paternity test needed!) D. I am starting to show.....
13. I am a belly toucher. So I feel a bit hipocritical saying this but I really think that people shouldn't be allowed to touch a pregnant belly during the first trimester.... I mean really the only thing that you are touching is the fat roll I rolled into this pregnancy on.... so please stop. Or I will touch yours!
14. I miss Bloody Mary's, Beer, Wine, and Hot Toddy's.....
15. It feels really good when you pick out something to register for (side bar: When do you start registering? I need to look that one up!) and you find out that it has the top safety rating! Bonus!!

See you back here in 10 to 15 weeks for my newest rant, laugh, and/or update on this first time pregnancy business!

Lifting up a friend....

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
Complicated circumstances
have clouded his view.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

I fear that I won't have the words
that he needs to hear.
I pray for Your wisdom , oh God.
And a heart that's sincere.
And Lord I lift my friend up
to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
My best friend in the
world, I know he means much
more to You.
I want so much to help him, but
this is something he has to do.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

There's a way that seems so right to him.
But You know where that leads.
He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.
And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.

by: Casting Crowns

I recently stopped being clouded in my own vision and realized that my friend was in need of support. While she is still in need of support, and I have offered it. I am still sitting in silence waiting to support her in more than just a card telling her that I care for her and that I am here for her when she is ready. Love this song though. Just heard it and I feel that I could have written it. 

Praying for my friend. 

WOOOOPS!

I have been out of the saddle in the way of posting on here! Jim the trainer has been kicking my butt in training sessions, however.... tonight is my last one! VERY SAD! :( Monday night I felt very out of it and tired. He really kicked my but to the point were I was so physically exhausted I did an exercise wrong and when he corrected me I had to fight back the tears! (side note... I hate the BC I am on... ugh) I lost 1 1/2 lbs with in the last month and a half. I also lost a pant size. Finally some success. However, through out this experience I have been getting stronger physically and have felt the effects of the training sessions.
Hubby has lost 2 pant sizes! He finally had an interview for that job. It was last night. He seemed at peace after the interview. Not too excited, not too bummed. He just seemed like he went in said what he needed to say about himself and decided to let them worry about it. He will either get the job or stay at the crappy one he has and while that sounds like settling, he isn't. He is still daily looking for jobs in our area. Obviously the 129 applicants in this current job search shows why he has been looking for 5 plus years. He isn't alone in this hunt for a new job. He basically told the guy that at 33 years old he has never been inclined to drink, smoke or do drugs (great for them if he is on-call at night!), he has stayed at his job for 13 years (he is loyal), he doesn't know everything (humble) but is hands on and willing to learn (obviously good) and if he doesn't answer the phone if they call in the middle of the night his (mean, cranky) wife will poke him and tell him to answer the phone. HA! They told him he will know sooner rather than later about where he stands in this employment process. I am so hoping he gets it. I just don't know that he can continue to take all of this rejection before it makes him really down and depressed. As I type that I realize that it makes my hubby sound like a sad depressive guy... and really he has proved me wrong in this respect before. When his Mom passed away 3 years ago, I thought I had not only lost a wonderful friend but was going to lose my boyfriend to his grief. He actually has handled the loss so much better than I had predicted. I think that having God in our life has helped, having our friends' little girl Aria in our lives has helped tremendously too. She was born the day we buried Cathy and I have told CB's Grandma that Cathy whispered in Ar's ear before she was born to take care of CB. :)
WOW this post has gone a way I didn't expect! I guess that is because I had missed so many posts!

Happy Wednesday.

Back in the saddle

After a week of hacking up a storm and feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest I am finally coming back to life. There are a few things that have made this last week a pain! Not only was I finding it difficult to breathe, sleep, stay awake and work out. I was also finding it difficult to teach, knit, take care of my duties as a wife (the cooking, cleaning and such) but also keeping up with my most difficult grad school class to date. Now it is bad if you can't breathe, sleep, get your house work done or stay awake. Sad if you can't work out or care to knit. Terrible if you are having difficulty teaching or getting your homework done for grad school!!! I am slowly returning to all  of the things that I am needing and wanting to do.
I worked out with Jim tonight. He didn't kill me but I am sure I will be sore! I also got caught up on one paper tonight (only 3 more to go to get caught up! sad, sad, sad!). Sleeping, staying awake, and breathing have returned to almost normal. House work has been helped by the wonderful hubby, although now he is sickly. My desire to knit is still at the blah level but I can't do it all!

Additional thought.... I have been very frustrated that at 5'2" 130 lbs I have not lost any fat weight since I began this journey of working out. I actually have lost muscle mass recently. Scary!  I have done some thinking and realized... Maybe it is stress or maybe it is my birth control. I began to do some research and found that I have been on a birth control that many women my age (with similar lifestyles and even similar heights)  have had really crazy side effects.... many of which I am experiencing but had chalked up to other things in my life. Such as, weird episodes of intense hunger or intense lack of hunger through out the month. Irritability. When I say irritability I mean I can't handle the pencil tapping, the whining, the inability to find page 21 in our book even though I have told  the child it is "THREE MORE PAGES FROM WHERE YOU ARE. NO! NOT BACKWARD, FORWARD." (this is when I realize I am yelling about a flipping page in the book and calm down) "Here, let me just find it for you." Thinking to my self, even though you are in 3rd grade and completely capable of finding it on your own...... Then of course I turn to the next kid and his book is closed and he is staring at the wall and the kid next to him... is on page 12..... (Commence: banging head on the table). Here is the thing.... I very well know that these kids have special needs. I can usually just keep my cool and get my self undercontrol and them on the same page, however..... not recently...
 Ok back to the side effects.... hair loss - thankfully no, acne - yea a little bit but not enough to make me crazy, still it is a pain, lowered sex drive - well you don't need to know my answer here. :) and lastly weight gain, or the inability to lose weight that has come on since beginning birth control.... to this I say... SON of a GUN! I knew I was eating right, working out right, not imbibing too much, praying (although I don't know if that helps... maybe I should fast...) and trying to live the right way without going over board... Turns out maybe it is stress.... and a bc that keeps the weight on... To which I say... just another reason to get off bc and start having babies. :) HA!

Last parting thought. If you are a believer, pray for my hubby and I. In March we plan to have the house on the market, meaning this loveable guy (pictured above) goes to stay at grandma and grandpa's for a while. We have to figure out how much we will be approved for (scary!!) and find the house of our dreams, or that will work for the time being.
Also, hubby has applied for a job in which he is 1 of 129 applicants. He happened to be fixing a lock for a person that is on the board for said job application and mentioned that he had put in an application. The parting words from that guy to  hubby.... I will have to dig through the stack and find your application. (He also said that all applicants will hear if they are still in the process or have been declined for interviews by the end of this week or next week....) keep the prayers going!!

Such a happy old guy! :)

Little behind and feeling like I've been run over....

I am about a week behind on updates. Workouts have been good. Jim has upped the ante a bit in the cardio department. Which is great. I love feeling like I got my money's worth after leaving the gym. Sunday/Monday my left shoulder  blade area was in pain. Also my left foot was bothering me. Went to CB's dad (Father-in-law is a Podiatrist). He adjusted my feet, like a chiropractic adjustment but to the feet. It seems all of the core work that I have been doing at the gym with Jim could have had my feet a bit out of whack. My shoulder blade has slowly gotten better however the pain is now in my chest because I now have bronchitis. AWESOME! (not really) I feel like crud, I am supposed to take off a few days from the gym. I just want to sleep, but I have a ton of work to do for my Grad School Class. UGH!

Also, I need to take a moment to say this out loud.....
Back Story: On my mom's side of the family the cousin's my age have difficulty understanding that you 1. get married then 2. have babies. They have done all sorts of mixed up things when it comes to babies and marriages. With the exception of my sister and myself.
Part 2 of Back Story: I have a cousin that is only two months older than me, most likely has BiPolar (and no I am not joking or trying to be mean here) and has hated me for as long as I can remember because my parents stayed together and hers had the most tumultuous relationship I have ever witnessed.
Current situation: The cousin that hates me is pregnant. She choose to stop taking her BC because she thought having a baby would convince her boyfriend to stop cheating and they could get married or something. He walked away from her and now she is shacked up with some guy 20 years older than her that actually seems like a decent guy. She is that kind of person that puts up pictures of her pregnant belly as her FB profile pic and talks all day long about how she has gas or heartburn....or that they baby is kicking or ....blah blah SHUT UP! Wednesday night (also known as the worst day I've had in a while!--for other reasons this scenario just adds to the mess.) I received a text from her. "Hi, I am having a girl. Call Gma She wants to know if you will help host my baby shower." WHAT?!?! You think I would want to host your baby shower? Your Baby Shower?!?! For YOU?!?? The girl that came to Grandma's last Saturday and stood with your back to me for well over 30 minutes and spoke to me ONCE that entire 5 hours you and I were under the same roof??!?!?!
***Side note... I am also having a difficult time because I am married and I want kids and (in addition to the previous babies born out of wedlock from other cousins) this cousin, her sister, and another cousin are all out getting pregnant without a supportive male or even husband in their lives.... so to say I am jealous, maybe that they are so damned fertile..... but I know that CB and I are going to start trying soon (just not soon enough for me right now) and I am tired of hearing about these out-of-wedlock babies and that everyone thinks its ok to shack up with all of these random guys....***
Ok so where was I.... Oh yes, worst day ever, stupid-pregnant-shacking up with some older guy-cousin that hates me wants to know if I will help host her baby shower. I just got another message from her today asking me to contact our Grandma....
This all leaves me with this message to the big guy upstairs.....Hey God, I just wanted to tell you that I don't find my life humorous right now and would like to have the cliff notes version so I can figure out the point (meaning, significance) of this moment in my life... and then move on to the better parts of Your plan for me. I am in a dark spot and keep turning into more gray areas. I am over it and would love for You to take my hand and lead me out of it.... or at least whisper Your plan to me so I can participate in these day to day pains at least knowing that it will get better and how much longer it will feel like this.

Going to go take a nap then complete more grad home work....

Punching bags and working the wrong muscles....

Tonight's workout was a bit crazy and quick paced. I got to punch the punching bag for a minute, do 10 tricep push ups and then repeat. WHEW! That took a bit out of me and I could really feel the stress melting away! The other part of the work out that was hard though was getting the right rhythm and technique to do so hamstring work out. I seemed to be working my back muscles instead of my glutes and hamies.... I can feel the twinges in my back that confirm I was doing it wrong....