ARGH!

I have been working hard on the Martha shawl and prayer beads for church. Among other projects. I recently began work on my own design of a diaper clutch. Basically, a little purse that holds a small wipe container, two - three diapers and a changing pad (oversized that folds up small!). My sister -in-law's comment. "Those are already on the market, I have one." Infuriating! Hence the ARGH! Some people just like to put other people down and be rude. Baby Bibs are already on the market and I make and sell those too.... and hey she has those too! Doesn't mean I am not going to continue to try to make my own niche in the market!
ARGH!
SOME PEOPLE!

I should know by now....

I should know by now to not read a sentimental book while sitting across the table from students..... Mitch Albom's book Have a Little Faith was beautifully written... and in two days.... I concluded the book and almost sobbed through the end..... While students are taking ISATS.... I did not cry.... but I almost did... and if I had been alone, at home... I probably would have! Very good Book I recommend it to all!!

After this long day.... here are some things I am thinking about.......

Things I love:
*Finding that the sweater I had been dying to buy for months is now almost 50% off.
*Using Ebay to purchase said sweater for $13 dollars less because of the 'Make an offer function'.
*Waiting 3 days to buy the InginuiTEA from www.Adiago.com and when I finally decide to go for it..... I get 4 free samples of tea! (I must seem really thrifty at this point, or like I shop alot!)
*My husband
*The way that my husband puts others first, except when others are selfish....
*Our awesome couch that is so large that tonight when we realized it was almost time for bed and we didn't want to put sheets on the bed (I know sooooo hard.... right?)  we could both sleep on the couch together...
* Mitch Albom's book Have a Little Faith (I read almost 100 pages of it today! This is what happens when you administer ISAT tests all day!)

Things I don't love:
* That 2 years ago at this time of night my Husband and I were told to go home because his mother would be in the hospital for a while and we both needed rest so we could go to work the next day.
* That 2 years ago, while still just 'the girlfriend' I lost a best friend, a mother - in - law, a second mother..... We lost Cathy on 3/7/2008. She loved me and accepted me like a daughter.
* That even after 2 years I am still angry.

Things I can get over:
* Wanting to be perfect at knitting, crochet and other crafty obsessions.
* Hiding my real singing voice behind the one I use in choir and praise team.....

Things I never want to change:
* Always finishing the last stitch, or snap or the last touches on a present on my way to giving the gift away. Cathy always joked about this..... "Ok, What did you just finish in the car on the way over here?"
* How my Husband can cheer me up over the phone just by telling me that he wants to come hear me sing in church instead of going to brunch with his family. (They planned but didn't remember that we have church....)
* My Church Family and Friends.... I LOVE THEM!

Martha Shawl

I have a friend who's sister is going through a bit of a tough time trying to get pregnant. I have told her that I would make a prayer shawl for her sister. I thought it would be quick.... OH MY! SLOOOOOW goings! I am praying that I get it done soon. It has to be shipped across the US! I will post a picture.

I was sitting in the 5th waiting room of the morning (out of 6 on Monday) waiting to get a head CT of my sinus. A man came in and sat down heavily. He had a tattoo of a tear drop below his left eye, and F*** YOU! tattooed across his knuckles. He looked like he was unhealthy, tired, alone. He began angrily flipping the pages of a magazine, (flip, flip, flip, flip) then turned to me and said "You got cancer?" (flip, flip, flip, flip) "Well I hope not," I responded. (flip, flip, flip, flip)"I hate cancer." He said gruffly, then asked "what are you here for then?" I told him that my Doctor was trying to find the cause of headaches. (flip, flip, flip, flip) (ok so this flip, flip, flipping went on for a while.....) He continued to tell me about his cancer, it was in his neck. He told me about how wouldn't wish anything like this on anyone. That if the scans he was about to have showed he had cancer, he didn't think that he would go through it all again. That he would rather be dead. He was very angry. He told me that he had no teeth, because the cemo and radiation had turned them to gristle, and how his drs. didn't think about that happening until his teeth needed to be removed. He had to have surgery to remove all of his teeth, they couldn't be pulled because they just broke apart in his mouth. He told me about his 35 treatments he had, about the hole in his leg where they took a camera through his artery to his neck to determine where to shoot in the cemo drug. He showed me the feeding tube still attached to his stomach. Talked about how the cemo and radiation burned him internally as well as externally. He spoke of not being able to eat and how he asked the Doctors to keep the feeding tube in just incase he had to go through this all again. He showed me the port that was imbedded under his skin just under his collar bone that they would shoot iv's into. He explained how the internal burns formed bumps that kept him from eating and that it hurt him to swallow his own spit. He talked about how the burns on the out side of his neck kept him from being able to sleep and as they healed would break open and bleed. He was angry. He was there to get his PET and CAT scans that would tell him and his Doctor's if he was done with the treatments. During all of this I put my knitting away and turned and listened to him. At the end I said, "Sir, I believe in God and I believe in prayer. That God listens to our prayers. Can I have your name. I would like to pray for you and pray that your PET and CAT Scans show that you are cleared of cancer." His name is Herb. After I wrote his name in my prayer journal, my name was called. I hope that God has a positive plan for Herb. It is so heartbreaking to hear some one say that they would rather be dead. I will continue to pray for Herb. I hope that God continues to put people in his life that tell him that they have faith in God. Maybe He does believe in God, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he will begin to wonder if he should believe in God.